Chapter Eighty-Two: The Pig's Tail

Lotus Yue was a woman of unfortunate fate—who could blame her, saddled with such an unreliable father?
“Let’s go!” Now that everything was settled, Chen Liang had no desire to linger. He called out to his companions and prepared to leave.
Since they had each arrived on their own bikes, they departed the same way: Chen Liang pedaled ahead, while behind him, Borba—grinning like a country squire’s simple-minded son—rode with Lotus Yue on the back seat, trailing after him.
Damn it, Chen Liang, who had always watched others flaunt their happiness, was finally force-fed his own serving of dog food today.
After a while, Borba caught up, Lotus Yue still perched on his bike. “Senior brother, you have to help me again. My mother…”
At these words, Chen Liang grew exasperated. “Get lost! Handle your own mother. You come running to me for every little thing—what’s next, you want me to help push your ass on your wedding night?”
The very thought of Borba’s mother—her robust, imposing figure—sent a shiver down Chen Liang’s spine. He’d really stuck his neck out this time, and now had to deal with Borba’s mother, whom he’d completely forgotten about.
Borba’s mother, reigning champion of the Mongolian Women’s Wolf Wrestling Tournament for years—if she found out her son had brought home a rural bride, would she break his legs? If she was feeling especially ruthless, she might even cripple him for life!
Though Chen Liang cursed him, Borba seemed to relish every word. “Heh, senior brother, that part I can handle. No need for you to help there. But with my mother, you really have to bail me out!”
Chen Liang tried to reason with him. “Junior, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but I just can’t! You’ve seen your mother’s size—if she takes out her anger on me, there’ll be nowhere for me to run. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Besides, you’re her only son. All you have to do is bring her home, explain the situation, and with your mother’s temper, she’ll just beat you up a couple of times. Bear with the pain, and you’ll get yourself a wife. Where else in the world could you find such a bargain?”
“Let me teach you a trick: When your mother beats you, just hug her leg and start crying. My niece, Chen Hong, does this all the time—she’s dodged countless beatings from my sister-in-law with that move.”
Borba looked doubtful. “Will that really work, senior brother? Take two beatings and I get a wife?”
“Are you an idiot? It’s just a metaphor, don’t you get it? Just bring the severance letter home and show it to your mother. She’s not going to drive your wife away after that. Whatever comes next, just endure it.”
“Now get lost. Because of your mess, my own days are about to get a lot harder. Honestly, just looking at you annoys me!”
With that, Chen Liang sent Borba packing and rode off alone, head down and pedaling hard. If this went wrong, even his master might whip him for it. What kind of big brother helps his little brother find a peasant bride? Clearly, no good ever comes from such meddling!

Wronged but with nowhere to cry, Chen Liang could only find solace in the sturdy chest of Xiaoyu, where the tears of his sorrow might fall.
He hurried, pushing himself to reach the library before closing time.
“Hey! Young man, did you just come back from the desert?” The doorman at the entrance spotted Chen Liang, dust-covered and windswept, and laughed.
“Don’t even mention it. I went out of town today, and on the way back, I ran into a motorcade at Dianbei Bridge. The speed they were going, they should’ve been flying planes. I must have done something really bad in a past life.”
Can you believe it? In the heart of the capital, in the dead of winter, you could still get plastered head to toe by sand and dust kicked up by a passing convoy.
When Xiaoyu saw him, she was startled by his appearance. He’d left that morning looking perfectly fine—how had he become such a mess by evening?
Please, just bring back my dashing, manly, handsome brother!
“What are you waiting for? Quick, fetch some water for your man!”
“Okay, got it,” Xiaoyu muttered, her cheeks puffed out like a hamster, but soon brought over a basin of warm water.
Chen Liang took off his security uniform and handed it to Xiaoyu to shake out, then scrubbed his face thoroughly with scented soap.
By the time Xiaoyu returned, lugging clothes at least two pounds lighter, Chen Liang had already regained his former handsome looks.
He dabbed on some of Xiaoyu’s cosmetics, freshened himself up, and then pulled her close to recount his day’s adventures.
When he reached the sad parts, Chen Liang let tears of regret flow from his mouth, burying his head in Xiaoyu’s ample chest.
The young couple played around for a while before gathering their things and leaving for the day. On the back of Chen Liang’s bike, Xiaoyu, disgusted by the dirt on his clothes, refused to rest her cheek on him.
“Brother, that girl you mentioned sounds so pitiful. Shouldn’t we help her somehow?”
Silly, sweet Xiaoyu—if not for my steely resolve, you’d be the first wife of the Chen household by now. You’re feeling sorry for her, but all she’s thinking about is how to seduce me. Ridiculous!

When they got home, they found the old deaf lady and Sha Zhu waiting with several bottles of good wine. “Liangzi, we’ve been waiting for you to start dinner. Come on!”
“Wow! This pig’s head is delicious, and the pig’s ears aren’t bad either. Xiaoyu, eat more of those trotters—they’re packed with collagen, really good stuff!”
Chen Liang sampled each dish, giving Sha Zhu a big thumbs-up for his cooking. “Sha Zhu, your skills are unmatched—absolutely perfect!”
While Chen Liang and Sha Zhu were each gnawing on a pig’s tail, Chen Hong ran over from her seat. “Uncle, I want some pig’s tail too. I’ve never had it before!”
“Little Chen Hong, aren’t you afraid that if you eat pig’s tail, you’ll grow a little tail overnight?” Sha Zhu, ever the jokester, loved to tease wherever he went.
Seeing her eager for pig’s tail, he seized the chance to scare her with such nonsense.
But he forgot that Chen Hong, after spending so much time with Chen Liang, had become a clear-eyed realist.
She shot Sha Zhu a scornful look. “Uncle He, if eating something meant growing it, how come you haven’t grown a pig’s tail yourself?”
Her retort sent the whole table into laughter, including Sha Zhu himself.
“Hey! This child is smart—got spirit. She’s destined for great things.”
Hmph! Don’t think children are easy to fool. Chen Hong has never let herself be outdone.
Chen Liang, laughing, handed her a pig’s tail. Little Chen Hong then fed bites to the old deaf lady, Chen’s mother, her aunt-in-law, and Xiaoyu in turn. Only after everyone had tasted did she happily take a big bite herself—delicious!
Chen Liang understood her little scheme. Though she’d just rebutted Sha Zhu, deep down, she was still a bit worried she might grow a pig’s tail. So, by making everyone take a bite, if anyone grew one, they’d all be in it together!
Damn, she really is a child of destiny—so full of clever tricks.