Chapter Thirty-Five: Keeping Lingmeng? The Polite and Respectful Ayase

"Today was so much fun, so satisfying," Hinata said, smiling brightly as she held the hands of the other two in the middle. She looked up at Juuki, who was asleep on Ki's back. "Juuki's sleeping with a smile on her face. She hasn't been this happy in a long time."

"There are good things in the mortal world after all. When I lead Hell to conquer Heaven, this fascinating land will belong to us as well."

"I'm happy too. I’ve never been to an amusement park before, you know. Next time we go to the beach, it’ll be even more fun than today," Ki said, laughing.

"Yes. Hey, isn’t that Anewi’s—?"

"Don’t talk nonsense. Don’t look at her. I have a bad feeling that meeting her will be nothing but trouble. Let’s hurry!"

"Hey, you over there, rich guy! I’ve been looking for you—don’t leave! The money you gave me, I’ve already spent it!" the shrine maiden shouted loudly from nearby.

The three stumbled a few steps, nearly falling. Ki hesitated, then grabbed their hands and ran off. The shrine maiden chased after them relentlessly. "Rich guy, don’t run! There aren’t any monsters chasing you. I don’t have any money left—give me some more! I don’t know this place, I have nowhere to stay. Help me out, or I’ll have to sleep outside tonight!"

"Stop talking about help and such. Damn it, why can’t we shake her off?" Ki saw the black cat panting from running and finally stopped, turning around and adopting a defensive stance.

"The enemy approaches. Nii-san, brace yourself up front. Hinata, prepare for guerrilla tactics. I’ll provide long-range fire support. Juuki... Moe brother, heal us," the black cat declared, conjuring her chuunibyou barrier once again.

"That shrine maiden in red and white over there, don’t think showing your armpits is your charm point. Wearing an unorthodox shrine maiden outfit—are you here to act cute or to flaunt yourself? Beware, lest the proper shrines sacrifice you for real!"

"So it’s a long-range, venomous verbal assault, huh," Ki said, speechless. "You’re unreliable too!"

"Our shrine’s maiden uniforms are all like this. Though I’m the only shrine maiden, and we don’t have any sacrifices like that," the red and white shrine maiden replied earnestly.

"I don’t want to argue with you. Just go home—your parents must be worried. If they end up spanking you, don’t cry," Ki waved her hand to shoo away the shrine maiden.

"I have no father. Mother went far away when I was little, so I live alone at the shrine. If that old witch Violet realizes I’m not in Fantasy Land, she might come looking for me. But outside, I don’t know if she’ll find me. So tonight, I want you to help me, until Violet comes for me," the shrine maiden said, her voice deliberately subdued, eyes closed as if hiding her feelings.

"...I knew this would be troublesome. Black Cat, what do you think?" Ki stared at the shrine maiden for a long time, then turned to ask the silent black cat.

"You’re the eldest, you decide," the black cat snorted and turned away, making her stance clear.

"So tsundere and cute," Ki thought.

"Hinata will listen to Anewi too," Hinata said, still conflicted and pushing the decision onto Ki.

"Let’s find a quiet place to talk first. Let me make it clear, I’m helping out of kindness. Stop shouting for help and such, understand?" Ki repeated his warning, but the shrine maiden’s expression showed it wasn’t sinking in.

Passersby occasionally glanced at the odd group of youths—their strange stares made the black cat and Liuli hang back at a distance, unwilling to follow closely. After all, the sight of a boy in his mid-teens carrying a six-year-old child in front and a thirteen-year-old shrine maiden with exposed armpits on his back was bound to attract attention.

"Walking is such a pain, so tiring. Rich guy, carry me," the shrine maiden demanded.

"If you’re asking, don’t decide for me. And besides, carrying you face-to-face isn’t really carrying," Ki complained, facing the shrine maiden who jumped at him without hesitation. He quickly moved Juuki to the front, turning his back, and became a lucky human backpack. Ki’s plea for help from the black cat was ignored—and her gaze was full of threat.

Lowering his head, Ki quickened his pace to a familiar park, found a lonely corner, and sternly told the shrine maiden to get down. He wondered if the black cat’s glare would kill him if this continued.

"We need to talk seriously now," Ki said, his expression grave.

"No, just help me. Let me drink tea every day, daze off, sleep by the heater, and I’ll be fine," Reimu replied flatly, her demands simple.

"You’re this lazy at the shrine? No wonder nobody comes to worship. Want me to build you another shrine then?" Ki felt he couldn’t communicate with this creature at all—it was even more difficult than speaking with the black cat when they first met.

"Really?" The shrine maiden asked, delighted and expectant.

"Of course... You wish. If you won’t cooperate, I’ll leave right away and you’ll have to starve and freeze on the streets. Understood?" Ki made his face more fierce, trying to intimidate her.

"Yes," the red and white shrine maiden immediately became serious.

"Name?"

"Hakurei Reimu."

"Age?"

"Thirteen."

"Where do you live? Be specific."

"The Hakurei Shrine at the boundary between the Far East barrier of Fantasy Land and the real world."

"Don’t get all chuunibyou on me. Fantasy Land must be a town or something. Never heard of it. Any big cities nearby?"

"Nope. All the humans in Fantasy Land gather in Human Village. The Hakurei Shrine in the real world is just a rundown little shrine deep in the mountains."

"I told you... Forget it. How did you end up here?"

"I was hungry, went out to find food, wandered out of Fantasy Land and ended up in the real world. Strangely, I didn’t appear at the real world Hakurei Shrine, but here. Have you heard of Hakurei Shrine?"

Ki shook his head and looked to the black cat. She did the same. "We’ll check online when we get home. So when will the person looking for you arrive?"

"I don’t know. Violet old witch’s gap can see any corner of Fantasy Land, but I’m not sure about the real world."

"A gap? You mean a spy, right? Chuunibyou is such a pain. Looks like Violet is some kind of boss in Fantasy Land. Alright, here’s the deal: I’ll give you money, you rent a place, and wait for your friend to find you. How’s that?"

"You won’t help me, so what’ll I eat? Drink? No heater—how am I supposed to sleep?"

"I’ll give you money—that’s... Never mind. I gave you eleven thousand this morning, where did it all go? No sense of money at all."

"I bought the best tea leaves. Ah—haven’t had good tea in ages, ended up buying too much. Ehehe," Reimu said, acting cute.

"Ehehe, my foot! You spent over ten thousand on tea leaves. Your brain... phew. Okay, here’s what we’ll do:"

"I’ll buy you food for three days. If nobody comes for you after three days, I’ll buy more. Otherwise, you’ll just waste the money again. Is that acceptable?" Ki sighed.

"And a heater. Rich guy, you’re really helping me, aren’t you? Giving me food, drink, shelter—that’s helping, right? Being helped is so blissful," Reimu said, smiling happily.

"Anewi, are you really going to help her? What if your actual girlfriend sees you?" Hinata teased.

"Little brat, stay out of it. Miss Hakurei, I forgot to introduce myself—my name is Ki, so stop calling me rich guy. Also, I’m helping out of kindness, nothing else. Haven’t you ever met someone who helped you just for kindness?"

"Rich guy Ki, in Fantasy Land, showing kindness to strangers is very dangerous. You could get eaten if you’re careless, so the humans in Human Village never show kindness to strangers. You being so nice to me must mean you want to help me," Reimu said with certainty.

Ki had given up. "Fantasy Land really is dangerous."

"In the Demon Realm, there’s no such thing as kindness either—only profit matters," the black cat said, chuunibyou as ever.

Ring ring... ring ring...

The phone rang. Only the black cat and Ki had phones. No one would believe Reimu owned such high-tech gear.

"Suddenly I feel uncomfortable. My sharp senses tell me you were just thinking something extremely rude," Reimu glared at Ki.

"You’re wrong. My phone’s ringing," Ki took out his phone and saw a familiar name. Suddenly, he felt reluctant to answer.

"Not many people know your number, right?" the black cat said quietly, her tone certain despite the question.

"Ahem, yes. I told you before about the kind person who gave me a place to stay—Aya... Ayase Aragaki. She’s a good person, probably calling to check if I found you." Ki smiled and answered, "Hello, this is Ki. Is something wrong?"

"Ah, um... ahem. Hello, this is Ayase Aragaki. Sorry to bother you, Mr. Ki. Last time you said you had a lead on your girlfriend. Did you find her yet?" Ayase’s voice was polite, refined, even a bit... fake.

What’s going on? Ayase was so polite and respectful. "Ahem, thank you, Miss Ayase, I’ve found the black cat. Sorry for bothering you before. Thank you again."

"Oh, ah... well, you’re welcome. Glad you found your girlfriend. Congratulations. That’s all, goodbye." Ayase continued with her oddly polite tone.

"Oh, goodbye." Ki glanced at the black cat, who was listening in. "You heard that, right? She’s just a kind girl."

"What does that have to do with me? You explained before, I said nothing. Still, her polite, modest voice was so fake," the black cat snorted coldly.

"What are you talking about?" Reimu asked, confused.

"Not your business. Now let’s talk... talk... What the—" Ki’s mouth dropped open, as if he’d seen an alien.

(Next chapter: The inevitable love comedy battlefield. Love comedy + shamelessness = a battlefield)