84. The Joy of Life Lies in the Unknown

It seemed that, in matters of the bed, Chen Sufen and Qiao Yingna had followed a similar path: after a brief burst of intense frenzy came a deliberate withdrawal, as though, being educated women, they both understood that only by first shaking off the pleasures of the body could they look more objectively at the situation before them.

Because Bai Haonan was simply far too irresponsible.

Not that he treated women badly. On the contrary, when faced with a woman, he could be almost maddeningly attentive, sweet to the point of cloying.

And so, as expected, they spent the next stretch of time staying at this waterfall scenic area a little outside the city. In the mornings they ran and worked out along mist-wreathed paths; by day they roamed the mountains, ate farmhouse meals, and strolled through the old hill towns; at night they either went into the city for dinner or stayed in the resort hotel to enjoy food that was only slightly overpriced for what it was.

Chen Sufen had, in effect, made herself a bystander. With a mindset that was finally no longer that of her girlhood, she watched this man, weighing all over again whether the long years of expectation had been justified, and so she never missed a single outing.

Bai Haonan was equally happy to pretend she did not exist. Not only did he kiss Isa openly in public, but at meals they fed one another, and whenever they passed flower stalls or souvenir shops he was lavish without the slightest hesitation, fitting the textbook definition of a romantic lover. Chen Sufen knew that if she ever so much as gave him a favorable look, this man would certainly dare to shower her with the same attentions at once. How could she possibly accept that?

Isa, just beginning to taste the first sweetness of love, was a little dazed with happiness. But Chen Sufen, always within a few meters, was indeed rather irritating to her, making it hard to fully inhabit the role. Especially during every moment of intimacy, the two of them would glance at each other almost unconsciously. By the end of it, Isa had developed something of a psychological block; even when the two of them shut the door and made love in their room, she would still keep checking now and then to see whether, somewhere nearby, there was a doll-faced woman watching with a cool, stern gaze.

And yet at this point Isa did not ask Chen Sufen to disappear. Between women there seemed to be some mysterious sixth sense; she appeared to feel that this woman was about to become a thing of the past. At the very least, with her spending twenty-four hours a day glued to Bai Haonan, there was absolutely no chance of secretly sneaking around with Chen Sufen. Maybe looking at her a little more would even make it easier to let go.

So that day, after they had finished touring another attraction, Isa naturally suggested going into the city for dinner and shopping. Having found the courage to decide her own future, in just five or six days she had begun to reveal her born tendency to take charge.

Bai Haonan did not care either way. It was all just play to him; he felt no pressure at all. The stubble along his jaw had already turned thick and dark, and after being trimmed again, the style looked a little neater and shorter than before, though still more disheveled than during those periods when he had constantly been hanging around nurses. After all, the last time, over two months, even with trimming, he had grown such a thick beard that he had practically turned into a bearded man. He no longer wore glasses, preferring amber sunglasses instead, which, to be fair, was a habit he had long since acquired from his days as a player. Only now it was pure leisure. In just a few days he had even gained a little padding around the waist, a marked contrast to the time when he had been living in the fitness center. If he stayed a few more days, he might well puff up entirely.

Professional athletes, once they stop systematic training, can put on weight like that with alarming ease, and Bai Haonan was no exception.

By now, Chen Sufen’s attention had shifted somewhat to Isa. This girl was absolutely nothing like a sixteen-year-old maiden, and even less like some ignorant bumpkin from the mountains. She had a mind of her own about everything, even when she did not speak.

So now, when they rode in the little white car, Chen Sufen sat in the back while A Zhu and A Xia took the front, since the three of them had grown close over the past few days.

But Chen Sufen could tell that Isa also seemed very interested in driving.

"Want to learn?" she asked.

Isa did not hide it. "I do! I wanted to back when I was still in town, but then I would have had to deal with those people. They were always borrowing money to buy cars, running illegal taxis, taking tourists around the toll stations, and making a lot of money. Shame they couldn’t even spend it on a few hits." She turned and explained to Chen Sufen, "I mean drugs!"

At last, Chen Sufen asked the question she had been holding back for so long. "Have you ever used them?"

Isa glanced at Bai Haonan. "When I was little, I tried it once with classmates. I felt dizzy and didn’t really know what it was like. They told me later that you have to do it several times in a row within a week before you start feeling anything, that floating, addictive high. After my mother found out, she broke several branches on me."

Bai Haonan reached out and rubbed the girl’s head. "It’s fine. My dad used to hit me all the time too."

Chen Sufen rarely spoke with him, but now she did. "Back then, he hit you pretty badly. A lot of the time for no reason at all."

Bai Haonan smiled. "His wife ran off with someone else, his work amounted to nothing, and aside from drinking and playing cards, of course the only thing left was to take it out on me."

Isa leaned over and patted his head in return, her gesture so adorably sweet that even Chen Sufen could not help teasing her.

Among the Han people, touching a man’s head is somewhat taboo, she said, because it is the highest point on a man’s body, and a woman cannot just touch it casually.

Isa instantly understood. "We don’t. We don’t regard men as anything so lofty. Men are really just like children who have never grown up. They need taking care of!"

So that still meant managing them, did it not?

Bai Haonan, driving, made a face. The little girl who kept saying she did not want to be a mother still had certain ways of thinking engraved deep in her bones that could not be changed.

Chen Sufen sighed. She had wanted to manage him for twenty years and never succeeded.

The little white car stopped in the liveliest commercial district. Isa had also taken to wearing sunglasses. She looped her arm through Bai Haonan’s and started shopping, a habit they had fallen into over the past two days. They bought very little and asked about everything, wandering into every store to have a look. Chen Sufen followed along and looked too. Sometimes Isa would tug her over and ask her questions, such as how such clothes or jewelry were sold in Rongdu, or whether she saw many hats like these in large cities such as Jiangzhou or Rongdu. Bai Haonan was no help at all with these things; he had never cared about them. When he accompanied women shopping, he cared only about paying and about sneaking glances at other pretty girls.

Besides, whenever Isa talked to him about this sort of thing, he showed almost no interest. The fact that he no longer openly slipped notes to other girls in front of her could already be considered very considerate. Of course, part of the reason was also the hard little dagger tucked at the small of her back.

So Bai Haonan figured this country girl probably had not had many chances to go shopping in that little town, and he indulged her in everything. In the end, he was always the one taking the initiative to buy this and that. Of course, both girls got gifts. On the first day of shopping alone, he bought Isa one of the most fashionable, most stylish phones on the market, costing several thousand yuan. Chen Sufen was treated the same. He had quietly bought hers while the two girls were looking at a display window, without even bargaining. He was grand about it.

As a result, both girls scolded him thoroughly and then went to return them, only to be told that they had already been activated and registered and could not be returned.

Chen Sufen accepted hers with a complicated expression. It was probably not about the price. In the past, she had accepted little cars worth over a hundred thousand yuan with complete peace of mind. By contrast, after Isa discovered that it could not be returned, her expression was even calmer. She figured out how to use it in no time at all, saying that she had often seen them in tourists’ hands. Thieves in town had already begun eyeing this kind of thing, but the town was too small; once tourists made a fuss, the police could find the culprit very quickly.

And so, as they wandered from shop to shop, Bai Haonan often ended up walking behind them with his hands clasped behind his back, carrying the bags, while the two women linked arms and moved ahead as if they were on the best of terms. Chen Sufen had short hair; her figure from behind was long and enticing, especially since she had presumably trained squats with some purpose, giving her a small, lifted backside and a gait full of rhythm. Isa was shorter, but with her long hair over her shoulders, a high-waisted jacket, a shirt peeking beneath it, and slim jeans, she looked undeniably youthful. Just looking at those two backs could easily make a man feel criminal. Bai Haonan found his thoughts turning bold again.

Of course, they were only thoughts. One liked using a knife, the other was skilled at breaking bones; serving them both at once was a little too difficult.

Unconsciously, Bai Haonan patted his pocket and realized there was almost no money left.

Any other man, if his pockets were empty, would probably feel panicked, or else try as hard as he could to stretch the happiness of traveling with two beautiful women for as long as possible. But he, instead, looked forward to the unknown road ahead, with endless beauty and an endless future waiting.

Even the loveliest scenery becomes tiresome if you look at it too long, especially when one has been concentrating so intensely on beauty. Was there not a saying one often heard in nightlife circles: behind every breathtaking beauty there is a man who is sick to death of her? He only wanted the freshness that made his heart skip and his spirit whirl; that was enough.

To keep changing, to keep renewing oneself, that was the charm of life.

That was the credo of the Teddy sort of man.

As for planning ahead, setting aside funds, or any such sensible ideas, they had never once appeared in Bai Haonan’s plans. Could a living man really starve to death for lack of urine?

He had never believed he would be driven to the end of the road, or perhaps he simply did not care if he ever reached it.