Chapter Fifty-Three: Rejoice, Kirei

Faced with the familiar greeting from an old friend, Kirei Kotomine found himself at a loss for how to respond. The Holy Grail War was a brutal struggle among magi, and for Masters who came driven by their desires, trust was a luxury he could not afford.

Yet in the moment Roland smiled and greeted him, all of Kirei’s unease vanished—as if this were not a battlefield, but instead the sun-dappled path where their friendship had first taken root.

“Assassin, remain where you are.”

“Master!”

Worried to see his Master walk into danger alone, Assassin was visibly anxious, but in the end, he loyally obeyed Kirei’s command.

Thus, Kirei stood beside Roland, separated by a single step, and spoke in his usual pained voice. “From a tactical standpoint, your teacher made no mistake. Since he failed to gain the advantage against Lancer at the outset, even unleashing his Noble Phantasm might not have yielded results; with two other Servants lurking nearby, retreating was the rational choice.”

“Perhaps, from a Master’s perspective,” Roland replied with a noncommittal smile. “After all, Command Spells exist to bind Servants. Using them for one’s own ends is only natural—just like a chess player maneuvering his pieces.”

“But unfortunately, the Holy Grail War is not a contest of calculation and strategy. Here, compatibility matters far more than numbers on a page. The King of Heroes is not one to be controlled; forcing him with a Command Spell will only backfire. Rather than that, offering the Command Spell as pure magical energy and sincerely honoring him as a vassal—even if the Tohsaka family fails to claim the Grail, the rewards they’ll reap may prove inexhaustible.”

Kirei fell into a long silence. At last, he spoke earnestly. “Perhaps that could have worked. But my teacher is a proud magus—he could never truly regard a Servant with sincerity.”

If it were simply a matter of fulfilling a wish, perhaps this would be the best choice. But to reach the Root, all seven Servants must perish. With that as the premise, from the very beginning, Tokiomi Tohsaka intended to use up Archer and then eliminate him.

To Tohsaka, his Servant was nothing more than an indispensable tool for reaching the Root—a tool he would ultimately have to destroy himself. Rather than waste precious Command Spells allowing that tool to act freely, it was only natural, from a magus’s perspective, to prioritize its safety.

“Yes, this pairing is fundamentally disastrous,” Roland said calmly. “But never mind that. Since we last parted, Kirei, have you found your answer?”

“I…”

Confronted with such a simple question, Kirei seemed to wrestle with shame, murmuring to himself.

After Roland’s prompting, Kirei quickly discovered how to find pleasure for himself.

In truth, he had long known it: Kirei Kotomine could only find joy in the pain and misfortune of others. Was he thus born a wretched soul, devoid of value, incapable of understanding happiness? So twisted, was he doomed to consume the filth of the world, repeating the cycle to sustain his fleeting pleasure until the day his sins were judged?

After a while, Kirei laughed self-deprecatingly.

“I have found my answer. But I still cannot understand it.”

In seeking an answer, he had slain the last fragile hope within himself. Even as a child, he had sensed he was different from others, but he still tried. He tried to fall in love, to heed God’s teachings, to be an excellent priest.

He persisted in this ascetic life for over thirty years.

Yet ironically, after finally accepting that happiness would never be his, he realized that only by yielding to his own nature could he ease the emptiness within.

He was evil by nature. For years, he had struggled against himself, hoping to prove he could be happy like anyone else—only to end up here.

For the first time, this taciturn man revealed his true feelings before the only friend he could trust. Fire blazed in his eyes, powerful emotions surging in his chest.

“Why are there both happy and unhappy people in this world? And for those who suffer, what is their true happiness? In my confusion over my own nature, I have prayed to the Lord countless times for answers—yet in the end, I am left with nothing…”

“Why was I, of all people, brought into existence by fate? What meaning does my life hold?”

As he spoke, a feverish light flickered in the emptiness of Kirei’s eyes.

He could not be as open-hearted as Roland, who recognized his own nature from the start and could live freely as he wished. What Kirei yearned for was true happiness.

At this moment, Kirei was bound by past pain and perseverance, teetering on the brink of collapse. For that reason, he was willing to clutch at anything, like a drowning man grasping for a lifeline.

Yet, in the face of Kirei’s anxious questioning, Roland gave no direct answer. Instead, he extended a gentle invitation:

“Kirei, do you believe in gravity?”

“Do you think there was meaning in our meeting that day? I believe encounters themselves are a kind of gravity. You, still searching for your missing answer, and I, who have nothing—our meeting must have been quite the coincidence, don’t you think?”

“If that too is fate’s choice, then perhaps today’s encounter is the very meaning for which you have lived until now.”

As if absolved, Kirei gazed into Roland’s sincere smile.

“So, does true happiness really exist?”

“Of course it does. It is a place called Paradise—a unique realm. Once we reach it, even if the world denies us happiness, we can create a world where happiness is ours to claim.”

Roland smiled, his lips curled, pupils glowing a blood-red that flowed like molten lava from hell—scorching, fearsome.

Then, he reached out his hand to Kirei.

“So, my friend—even if it means entrusting your life to me, even if the hardships on this path surpass all the emptiness you’ve ever known, even if it requires you to betray everyone around you—will you still choose to come to my side?”

“In that case, there can be only one answer,” Kirei replied, bowing his head respectfully, eyes filled with pale fanaticism. He dropped to one knee and kissed the outstretched hand.

“I will serve you, until the world ends, until true happiness—Paradise—finally descends.”

“In that case, Kirei—rejoice.”

The most crucial condition was now half fulfilled. Fuyuki City truly is fascinating.

Surveying all that Kirei was, Roland spoke serenely: “Go and unleash yourself. When that time comes, perhaps we will find a way to reach Paradise.”