Chapter 62: Suicide

Zhang Jing and the others had actually arrived here long ago, including Professor Liu and Yang Weiguo. However, once they discovered that Shen Lie and his group had returned safely, Professor Liu and Yang Weiguo had gone off to join Zhang Kaitai in an emergency meeting. Whether to stay and hold their ground or to retreat was a decision that required an immediate plan of action.

After observing the monster swarm's reactions for a while and seeing that the remote artillery fire had successfully held them back, Shen Lie and Hu Chenggang headed back to the bulletproof vehicle.

Hu Chenggang had hoped to keep Shen Lie and Du Lili here to assist with the combat, but Shen Lie had no such intention. Moreover, since the military had not yet reached a final decision, Hu Chenggang did not press the matter.

Their entire convoy had been traveling along the Chunyang Expressway, flanked by endless fields of crops. In the past, one might have been able to walk through them, but now the vegetation itself was not to be trifled with—sometimes even more terrifying than the spider monsters.

Shen Lie and Zhang Jing’s group passed through the defensive perimeter and reached the center of the convoy, an area filled with ordinary survivors who lacked any combat capability. As soon as he entered, Shen Lie felt a sense of grief and despair permeating the air. Information about the fighting ahead could not be hidden; everyone knew they were not facing a small group of monsters, but a despair-inducing, massive swarm.

The sounds of sobbing were constant. The young and able-bodied among the survivors had been conscripted to fight at the front lines. Every moment, people died; every moment, people lost their loved ones and children. No one knew who would be next, or if they would even exist tomorrow.

"I recall you describing what heaven looks like, pointing into the distance, drawing house after house."

"Your silly, smiling expression was so honest; all my trust began from that very moment."

"I want to follow you for a lifetime, at least in this world where there is no reality. I want to cling to you for a lifetime, to be the last angel in your emotional world."

As Shen Lie was contemplating where to scavenge for more supplies, he suddenly heard a low, melodic song drifting from ahead.

*Someone is singing at a time like this?* Shen Lie and Zhang Jing exchanged glances and walked over, curious.

Indeed, someone was singing. A young girl with a sweet face, though dressed in rags, stood upon a discarded wooden crate, singing softly. Perhaps she had not had a full meal in days; her eyes were deeply sunken, and her gaze was filled with utter despair for life.

"If we are still together when the dream ends, please allow us to rely on each other for survival."

"I only fear that when the dream ends, we will be worlds apart, and no one can reverse this separation."

Shen Lie remembered this as a song about love from before the cataclysm. He did not know what had become of the original singer, but as it drifted from the girl's lips, it was filled with infinite sorrow.

Only then did it strike Shen Lie that only four months had passed since the cataclysm—less than half a year—yet it felt as long as a century to him. He believed he was not the only one who felt this way, and this girl was surely one of them.

*Is it all a dream?*

*Were the days of the past a dream, and have I finally awakened? Or is this the dream, and I do not know when I will wake? Are we living in a dream, or has the dream engulfed the world?*

Amidst the girl's mournful singing, Shen Lie could not help but feel lost himself.

"Ah!"

A sudden cry from the crowd snapped Shen Lie out of his trance, and then he witnessed a sight that shook him to his core.

After finishing the final line of the song, the girl suddenly produced a short fruit knife from her waist. She looked at the surrounding crowd with a faint smile, raised her hand sharply, and slit her own throat in one swift motion.

Blood splattered, and the girl’s body became a tragic, beautiful tableau.

Even in death, she maintained a faint smile. Whether it was out of a lingering attachment to life or the joy of finally finding release, no one could say if her actions were right or wrong. It takes too much courage to go on living, and death requires courage as well—though that, at least, is over in an instant.

The death of one person caused not a single ripple at such a time. The crowd only emitted two brief cries of shock before falling silent again. Faint whispers circulated, suggesting that this girl had been a singer on a talent show before the cataclysm, and had even been somewhat well-known.

In the eyes of these people, death was perhaps better than living—at least one would not have to sell their dignity for a morsel of food every day, nor live in constant fear of being devoured by monsters. Yet, not everyone possessed the courage to take their own life.

Two survivors, who seemed to be acquaintances of the girl, carried her body away to the distance. She was considered quite fortunate; at least she could be buried in the earth after death, while some could not even find their own remains.

"Let’s go." Shen Lie did not know what his own state of mind was, but he knew he still had the desire to live, and so he had to prepare for it.

The girl’s incident seemed to affect Zhang Jing deeply. Shen Lie noticed that she became somewhat despondent after leaving the crowd. Zhang Jing’s greatest wish was to become an Awakened; no matter how severe the physical mutation, it could not deter her hope. This was perhaps the shared expectation of all survivors—no matter what one became, as long as one had strength, nothing else mattered.

Words like "idol" and "goddess" had vanished since the start of the cataclysm. No one would help you fend off monsters because you were beautiful, and no one would give you food because you were handsome. There was only raw extortion and cruel subjugation. The naked law of the jungle had suddenly cast the once-arrogant beauties and handsome men into hell.

Shen Lie could not change Zhang Jing’s shift in perspective; one had to sort out their own mindset, and outsiders could not intervene. He began to scavenge supplies frantically, first filling his spatial gourd with food and water. He inevitably resorted to taking things by force—he could no longer worry about that; reputation was not as important as survival.

He then obtained over a dozen large-caliber rifles, submachine guns, and grenades from the military, as well as more of the new type of explosive packs he had used. Having saved Zhang Kaitai earlier, the military was generous, granting his every request.

He had originally wanted to procure a couple of cannons, but the space in his dark green gourd was limited, and no one in his group knew how to operate artillery, so he had to abandon that tempting idea.

The Red Mist team consisted of over twenty members, excluding him, Du Lili, and Zhang Jing. Professor Liu and Yang Weiguo’s subordinates were not included.

Shen Lie knew that no matter what, Professor Liu and Yang Weiguo would surely follow the military. His own plan was to leave at the first opportunity. The tightening sense of palpitations in his chest made him very uneasy; there must be a large spatial rift nearby, or there would not be such a gathering of spider monsters. He was not afraid of the spiders—even if he couldn't beat them, there was hope of escaping—but he feared the appearance of those giant, winged white insects. That was truly terrifying.

There were indeed benefits to staying with the large convoy, but at the same time, the larger the group, the larger the target. Furthermore, with a mix of good and bad people, the old and the young, their speed could not be maintained, and their mobility was far too poor.

In fact, it wasn't just Shen Lie who felt this way; many small groups harbored the same thoughts. However, their convoy was currently surrounded by spider monsters. Even if one chose a weak point in the encirclement, one needed genuine strength to break through; otherwise, people would have already fled.

The sound of artillery fire from the surroundings was constant. The military’s ammunition was being depleted at a rapid rate, even as the number of spider monsters steadily decreased.

The gunfire gradually grew sparse. Shen Lie knew this meant another monster assault had been repelled. He did not know how many soldiers and Awakened had perished in the attack, but that was not his concern—the moment he had been waiting for was almost here.

Shen Lie ultimately decided to break through when night fell. He had acquired several sets of night-vision goggles from the military supply depot. With these, they would have a significant advantage at night: they could see the spider monsters, but the monsters could not see them, increasing their chances of a successful breakout.

He did not know what Professor Liu and Zhang Kaitai were still debating, as they had yet to produce a concrete plan. He decided not to wait any longer; he had never intended to bring Professor Liu along anyway, so waiting was meaningless.

He glanced at his watch: 18:45. Shen Lie decided to begin the operation at 19:00 sharp. He had fifteen minutes left to prepare.