Chapter Forty-Eight: Truly, I Cannot

If it were during a mission or working hours, Cheng Jiu would never touch alcohol; it could interfere with things at critical moments. Today was Jiang Tang’s father’s birthday, and during the conversation, they recalled the time when Cheng Jiu had just arrived at Beiyu and participated in a rescue operation. There had been an accident during that operation; no matter how meticulously it was planned, the execution was unpredictable, and accidents occurred.

Cheng Jiu miscalculated then and nearly got injured—it was Jiang Tang’s father who stepped in to save him. Without him, Cheng Jiu might have been crippled, if not dead. Because of that accident, Cheng Jiu understood that some things must be protected at all costs: his comrades, his subordinates, and this land.

Jiang Yang switched places with him and drove steadily. While driving, Jiang Yang glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Cheng Jiu noticed his gaze and asked, "Is something bothering you?"

Caught in the act, Jiang Yang’s expression shifted slightly. He scratched his cheek instinctively, "No, nothing really."

Cheng Jiu lit a cigarette as usual, resting his hand on the car window, letting the night wind blow in and chill his face. He seemed unaffected. "If you have something to say, just say it—no need to hem and haw."

"Brother Jiu, I..." Jiang Yang hesitated, then bit the bullet, "Brother Jiu, Jiang Tang likes you. We can all see it; everyone knows."

He spoke up for Jiang Tang, even though she had asked him to get information from Xiao Shi. Jiang Yang couldn't hold back from asking Cheng Jiu—he’d always admired him. Men are straightforward, and Jiang Yang was no exception.

At the dinner table, Cheng Jiu had declined Jiang Tang’s father's goodwill, and Jiang Yang had witnessed it. So his questioning was only natural. Whether Cheng Jiu felt the need to explain himself depended entirely on his own will.

Cheng Jiu asked, "Jiang Yang, if I’m not mistaken, you and Jiang Tang are relatives?"

"Yes."

"Jiang Yang, there are some things you understand even if I don’t spell them out."

Jiang Yang replied, "Brother Jiu, I didn’t mean to pry. Jiang Tang is my cousin, and she’s always liked you. We all know."

After speaking, his palms broke out in cold sweat. Sensing the drop in pressure inside the car, he grew nervous, "Sorry, Brother Jiu. I won’t mention it again..."

Cheng Jiu said nothing, lips pressed tight as he gazed out the window.

They returned to the team base at two in the morning. Cheng Jiu rested for a few hours and only drove to the inn to find someone after dawn.

When morning came, Jiang Yang knocked on Xiao Shi’s dormitory door. Xiao Shi had just woken up, yawning as he opened the door. "Why are you up so early?"

"Calling you to do morning exercises."

"Let’s go, then."

They walked toward the training ground. Xiao Shi was still sleepy, yawning repeatedly, while Jiang Yang was clearly preoccupied, calculating something, burdened by his thoughts. He wanted to ask Xiao Shi but didn’t know how to begin.

After a few laps, Xiao Shi’s breathing grew erratic. "What’s wrong? Can’t run anymore?"

Jiang Yang replied, "We got back late last night. Didn’t rest enough."

"Last night? You and Brother Jiu just returned? Where’s Brother Jiu? Why isn’t he here?"

"Brother Jiu went out early—no idea where."

Xiao Shi chuckled, "I bet he’s either on a mission or looking for Miss Xin."

Jiang Yang asked, "How do you know?"

"Isn’t it obvious? Anyone with eyes can see."

Jiang Yang forced a smile. "I really can’t tell."

Thinking of the warning Cheng Jiu had given him to keep his mouth shut, Xiao Shi regarded Jiang Yang as one of their own—not an outsider. Besides, it wasn’t a secret. No harm in telling him.

"You know Miss Xin, right? The one staying at the inn? She and Brother Jiu were engaged. We’ll have to start calling her sister-in-law soon."

Jiang Yang responded, "Really? How do you know?"

"Brother Jiu said so." Xiao Shi warned him mysteriously, "Don’t spread it. Brother Jiu doesn’t want it public yet. Look at him, even his iron heart has bloomed. When will we ever win the girl?"

Jiang Yang paused. "But when did Brother Jiu get engaged? He’s never mentioned it."

"There’s so much we don’t know. I’ve followed Brother Jiu for years, and did you know he has a sister? I only found out yesterday. He keeps secrets tight. But Jiang Yang, keep what I told you confidential."

Jiang Yang smiled and promised, "Of course. I’ll keep it. But there’s something else—when you and Brother Jiu went out the other day, didn’t you run into Fish Head’s men? Was it just you two?"

Xiao Shi scratched his head, "Miss Xin was there too."

"No one got hurt, right?" Jiang Yang hadn’t seen Xin Gan nor heard Cheng Jiu mention her.

"It was fine. A close call, but no harm."

"That’s good. Oh, I have more to ask. Let’s go somewhere to talk. The cafeteria’s open—let’s eat and chat."

Xiao Shi replied, "Just say it. We’re close."

...

Early in the morning, Cheng Jiu arrived at the inn. Passing the market’s breakfast stalls, he bought soy milk and fried dough sticks, thinking she’d like them. Yet he didn’t go straight upstairs to find Xin Gan; instead, he asked the innkeeper if Xin Gan had left.

The innkeeper replied, "No, she’s been in her room the whole time."

Cheng Jiu nodded and was about to head upstairs when the innkeeper called after him, "Captain Cheng, wait a moment."

He turned back. "Is there something else?"

"Captain Cheng, is that breakfast for the young lady?" The innkeeper chuckled, covering her mouth.

Cheng Jiu answered, "Yes, it’s for her."

"Surprising, Captain Cheng. That girl seems to have a special relationship with you. Don’t mind me asking, I’m just curious."

Cheng Jiu smiled without replying, which, to the innkeeper, was a tacit confirmation. With their relationship thus acknowledged, she spoke plainly, "That girl’s quite nice. I think it’s worth telling you, Captain Cheng: the Miss Jiang has come several times, always seeking that girl, and every time it ended unpleasantly."

"I happened to overhear snippets, Captain Cheng. The girl seems upset over it—she stays in her room all day and won’t come out."

The innkeeper told him out of regard for him; Xin Gan left a good impression on her, much better than the domineering Jiang Tang. Cheng Jiu understood and thanked her.

The innkeeper didn’t mind; Xin Gan’s stay had been paid for by Cheng Jiu, and he’d specifically asked her to look after Xin Gan, since he wasn’t often around.

...

Xin Gan had just finished a call with Shen Ruxin, telling her about her evening flight, which should arrive at Yongcheng Airport around eight the next morning.

Shen Ruxin confirmed the flight details repeatedly and reminded her to stay safe, and to inform Cheng Jiu first—it would be rude to leave without a word.

Xin Gan sighed at the thought of telling Cheng Jiu. She was afraid of complications and planned to inform him only after arriving at the airport.

She didn’t know Cheng Jiu well; his tall, sturdy appearance intimidated her. If she told him face-to-face, she feared he’d use force to make her stay. He certainly looked like a man capable of such things.

Thus, the safest approach was to act first and explain later.

The knock on her door snapped her back. Glancing at her watch, she assumed it was Jiang Tang again and didn’t want to respond.

But the knocking persisted. Annoyed, she demanded, "Who is it?"

The knocking stopped abruptly, and after a minute, a familiar voice sounded from outside, one that made her uneasy.

"It’s me, Cheng Jiu."

Her heart skipped a beat. With a deep sigh, she realized her plan had failed—he had come.

She opened the door and stood there, looking at him.

Cheng Jiu raised an eyebrow, "Have you eaten?"

Xin Gan saw the soy milk and fried dough sticks in his hand and hesitated. "I—I’ve eaten."

"So early? What did you have?"

"..."

She didn’t answer, feeling awkward and uneasy.

Cheng Jiu, acting as if he belonged there, brushed past her into the room. When he opened the door, he saw her attire—clearly ready to go home. He pressed his lips together, discreetly surveying the room. Sure enough, he spotted a neatly packed suitcase, the bed was tidy, the covers folded, the table cleared of those jars and bottles whose names he couldn’t recall. Clearly, she was preparing to leave.

Unable to stop him from entering, Xin Gan simply let him inspect the room.

Cheng Jiu set the soy milk and fried dough sticks on the table, his cheeks taut. "You’ve packed everything?"

"Yes." She didn’t deny it, admitting directly.

The admission was swift, and she said nothing more, offering no explanation. Cheng Jiu felt a flare of pride—he’d never met a woman like her.

He pulled a chair over, sat facing her, and after a moment’s consideration, asked, "Don’t you want to say something to me?"

Xin Gan replied, "What should I say?"

"When’s your flight?"

"Tonight."

Cheng Jiu’s Adam’s apple shifted several times, his voice icy, "Xin Gan, did you just ignore my words?"

She had never truly angered him before; he’d never been so stern with her.

But now, because she was leaving, he sensed something and confronted her. Her lack of explanation made him unhappy.

She saw his furrowed brow and the downward curve of his lips, the severity in his tone. She felt intimidated, dazed for a moment, and whispered, "I’m not used to staying here—I want to go home."

She knew better than to challenge him; doing so might truly anger him. She’d rather lower her head and soften her attitude, something she’d learned from He Cheng, though she never liked to admit it.

Xin Gan wanted to leave, to distance herself from him.

Yet Cheng Jiu couldn’t help but think of He Cheng—the name she’d murmured in her sleep. He hadn’t expected it to be He Chuan’s brother. Though He Chuan never spoke of what happened between her and He Cheng, the lock screen and her sleep-talking made it clear there was a story there.

Cheng Jiu looked at her, and she grew anxious under his gaze, retreating. "You can’t..."

"I can’t what?"

Xin Gan fell silent.

"So, what can’t I do?"

Flustered, Xin Gan avoided his eyes.

Cheng Jiu exuded authority without anger. Xin Gan feared this side of him and dared not say anything that might upset him.

Her ticket was for tonight; this was not the time for conflict.

Cheng Jiu called her, "Xin Gan, speak."

She had seen him angry once, not terribly so, but it had wounded her pride. Alone now, she still felt her dignity bruised. She hadn’t done anything wrong, so why was she being interrogated like a criminal?

She met his eyes. "You’ve seen it all—what’s left to say?"

"You’re sure you want to leave?"

"Yes." She nodded without hesitation.

Cheng Jiu laughed quietly, then reverted to his usual hardened manner. "If you want to leave, you could have told me directly. I’ll take you to the airport. If you really wish to go, I won’t force you to stay."

Xin Gan reflexively asked, "Really?"

"You think I’d force you to stay?"

"That’s not what I meant..." she softened again.

Cheng Jiu felt trapped—he couldn’t treat her like a subordinate. He could only ask, "You’ve packed everything?"

Xin Gan wasn’t sure what he meant, so she asked, "You really won’t stop me?"

"What else?"

She murmured an assent and said nothing.

Cheng Jiu watched her closely, examining her emotions. "If you want to leave, I can’t stop you."

Her heart and body weren’t his; forcing her would be meaningless.

They stood in silent opposition for a while, until Xin Gan broke the stillness. "Thank you."

She had nothing else to say.

Cheng Jiu rose and stepped closer; alarmed, Xin Gan retreated. Cheng Jiu halted abruptly, lowering his voice, "Do I scare you so much?"

"No, not really."

"Xin Gan, your body betrays you."

Exposed, Xin Gan sighed helplessly. "Yes, I’m afraid of you. If you really tried, I wouldn’t stand a chance."

"Yet you provoke me."

"When did I ever provoke you?"

"Always."

Xin Gan was silent.

She was clever enough to understand his meaning. Ever since he’d changed his mind, she knew things weren’t going well. Now, hearing this, she felt a ripple in her heart—one she didn’t want to examine or explore. She only wanted to escape, far away.

She refused to respond.

Cheng Jiu’s phone rang at just the wrong moment—it was his mother.

He told Xin Gan, "It’s my mother."

Xin Gan grew nervous.

Cheng Jiu answered, and his mother got straight to the point. "How are things between you and Xin Gan?"

"Nothing’s happened yet."

His mother pressed, "What do you mean ‘nothing’? Xin Gan’s been there so long and still no progress? Are you not doing enough—did you upset her? I tell you, you’re not anxious, but we are. You’re not young anymore, and Xin Gan finally graduated and came home. Can we settle things between you two?"

Xin Gan watched him anxiously, afraid he’d reveal everything and leave her in a passive position.

Cheng Jiu replied, "If I’m not anxious, why are you?"

His mother insisted, "Of course I’m anxious. Your grandfather issued an ultimatum—you must marry this year. Xin Gan’s grandfather said the same. Don’t cause any trouble. I remember you dating in college—don’t think I didn’t know. If Xin Gan finds out and gets upset, I won’t let it go."

She had always remembered that. When Cheng Jiu dated in college, she turned a blind eye, never obstructing him directly, but she did pressure the girl behind the scenes.

Cheng Jiu deflected. "I know."

"You know, but you have to listen. Treat Xin Gan well. Ideally, bring her home and get the marriage certificate soon, and hold the wedding after you take leave."

She had everything planned, just waiting on the two of them.

She was anxious for two reasons: Cheng Jiu’s age was not young, and Xin Gan was young, beautiful, and good-natured. If Cheng Jiu didn’t pay attention, any upset in the marriage would be regrettable.

Above all, she genuinely liked Xin Gan—she wouldn’t praise her so highly otherwise.

Cheng Jiu gave perfunctory answers, hung up, and asked, "What time is your flight? I’ll take you."

"Tonight," Xin Gan replied, biting her lip. "Was that Aunt Cheng?"

"Yes." Cheng Jiu considered, "When you go home, they’ll definitely ask about us. Have you thought about what to say?"

Xin Gan replied, "I’m not sure yet."

"Not sure, but you’re telling me?"

She sighed, "I’ll take it as it comes."

"Suit yourself," he said coolly.

Cheng Jiu had other matters and returned to the team. Before leaving, he told her he’d come tonight to take her to the airport and asked her to wait for him—not to leave alone.

Xin Gan agreed.

After he left, Xin Gan touched the soy milk on the table—it was completely cold now, as was the fried dough stick.

...

After hanging up, Cheng Jiu’s mother was still arguing with Cheng Hui, who insisted on going to Beiyu to find Cheng Jiu. She disagreed. "Don’t go bothering him. With your attitude, aren’t you afraid your brother will scold you?"

Cheng Hui replied, "I’ve grown up. I promise I’ll behave and won’t make trouble. Even if he wants to scold me, he has no reason."

"No, your future sister-in-law is still there. You’d only cause trouble."

No matter what, Cheng Jiu’s mother wouldn’t agree. "You have three months of vacation—go anywhere you want, just don’t disturb your brother and his future wife."

"Fine, Mom. You’re ruthless. I won’t go anywhere—I’ll stay home and bother you!"

With that, Cheng Hui stormed upstairs, deliberately making loud footsteps.

Cheng Jiu’s mother shook her head helplessly and went to arrange afternoon tea with Xin Gan’s mother to strengthen ties between the families.

Xin Gan’s mother answered the call, and Shen Ruxin happened to be visiting with her child. Xin Gan’s mother invited Shen Ruxin to bring Keke along to meet Cheng Jiu’s mother for tea.

The two families met, and Cheng Jiu’s mother kept praising Keke’s charm and likability. In conversation, she mentioned Cheng Jiu and Xin Gan, saying, "Someday, Cheng Jiu and Xin Gan will have such adorable children. Then I’ll finally have something to do."

Xin Gan’s mother agreed, "Yes, yes. We’ll help them raise their kids, so we won’t be bored in retirement."

The two elders were delighted, exchanging parenting tips, while only Shen Ruxin saw through it all. But she couldn’t dampen their spirits—not yet.