Chapter 20: Truly Overwhelming

Jiang Nian withdrew her gaze from Pei Jiuru. She watched as the constables escorted the man out of the alley. Then, she expressed her gratitude to the neighbors one by one. “Thank you all for standing up for justice today!”

The crowd finally relaxed. Sister Zhou comforted Jiang Nian, “Madam Pei, you just moved into our alley and already faced such trouble. You should calm yourself. If anything like this happens again, just shout out—we’ll all come to help you!”

“Thank you!” Jiang Nian watched the people disperse, then gently asked Lvlá, “Did it hurt when you bumped into him just now?”

“A little. Mostly, I was just startled...” Lvlá replied.

“You should go rest in your room first. I’ll send someone to fetch the doctor.”

“Miss, it seems that Young Master...” Lvlá glanced toward Pei Jiuru’s direction.

“Don’t worry about me. I just want to ask him what he’s really thinking.”

She didn’t want to guess, nor did she care to. They had only half-discussed the matter of sleeping in the study before, and with his cold demeanor this morning and the strange look he wore now, she had to get everything clear once and for all.

They approached each other.

Jiang Nian spoke softly, “Let’s take a walk in the garden and talk. You haven’t really looked closely at the pond in the courtyard, have you?”

Pei Jiuru followed her to the pond and stared for a moment.

He was only responsible for paying for the new mansion; everything else had been arranged by Jiang Nian. The pond was filled with fresh water, clearly a thoughtful touch by her.

After a pause, Pei Jiuru said in a deep voice, “Thank you for today.”

Jiang Nian turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were calm like a deep, bottomless lake, and her tone was even. “Pei Jiuru, we met by chance and only came together because of a deal. Since it’s a transaction, it’s normal for each of us to have some calculations. But living under the same roof, I still hope we can live peacefully.”

Pei Jiuru acknowledged Jiang Nian’s words but sensed there was more beneath them. “Jiang Nian, what are you trying to say?”

“I mean this: whether there are emotions or conflicts, we should communicate openly. You are a scholar and understand better than I do that ‘true friendship lies in understanding, not blood relations.’”

Pei Jiuru nodded. Indeed, trustworthiness is the foundation of friendship, and allies should be the same. Though he didn’t know what Jiang Nian wanted to discuss, he was ready to listen.

“Today, I honored our deal by driving away the Pei family elders. They barged in, fought, and broke a screen worth five hundred taels, which could have landed them in the magistrate’s custody until spring. I don’t ask you to be kind to me, but you shouldn’t be cold either.”

“Apologies. I was reminded of the assassination attempt from that day,” Pei Jiuru said with a respectful bow, seriously explaining, “Thank you for what you did today. I was in the shadows and didn’t hide my emotions immediately—that was my fault, but it was not directed at you.”

“Alright, I believe you, because I truly can’t imagine why you’d be displeased with me over this. But why did you suddenly show me that cold face this morning?”

Jiang Nian was confused, eager to know the answer.

Pei Jiuru didn’t reply immediately but studied her carefully.

Just like last time in the study, Jiang Nian straightforwardly asked about their intimate matters, and now again. She was blunt and sincere, but did she really not know why he was like that this morning?

Pei Jiuru was uncertain. Speaking honestly to sincere people is genuine, but being honest with those who harbor ulterior motives would make him a fool.

Clearly, he was the one being disliked, yet Jiang Nian’s questions made him seem heartless.

“You...” Pei Jiuru tried to probe Jiang Nian.

But she gave him no chance. “Why are you so inconsistent with me? If you have something you can’t say, why not just be honest? If you have amnesia or madness, I’ll find you the best doctor!”

“Who is truly inconsistent?” Pei Jiuru countered.

Jiang Nian was puzzled. “What do you mean? If you want to talk about us, don’t speak half-heartedly like this! You think if we’re always awkward, I can live peacefully, and you can prepare well? Why hurt others and harm yourself?”

Hearing this, Pei Jiuru made up his mind to trust Jiang Nian once more and speak plainly.

“Last night, we were both satisfied. No need to deny it; I could feel it.”

“Yes, I was truly satisfied then...”

“But you woke up this morning and immediately regretted last night’s affair, didn’t you?”

Jiang Nian suddenly understood. She finally grasped the root of Pei Jiuru’s change in attitude.

She had just woken up then and was most relaxed, so like Pei Jiuru in the shadows, she hadn’t restrained her emotions.

She hadn’t expected him to notice, and just as she was about to explain, she sensed something else in his gaze.

“You... you stared at me after waking?” Otherwise, how did he catch that fleeting regret?

At this point, Pei Jiuru had nothing to hide and admitted openly, “Yes.”

“I was very satisfied and comfortable last night, but my regret this morning was real too. I only regretted that I had been emboldened by wine, not regretted being with you... Those are two different things, understand?”

“I don’t.”

Jiang Nian finally understood. He was upset because she regretted it. Could it be... no wonder he was shocked and resentful before last night’s event!

At that moment, a small koi fish surfaced with a splash, sending ripples across the pond.

They both looked at the water simultaneously. Jiang Nian tentatively asked, “Pei Jiuru, could it be that after we started sleeping separately, you doubted whether I regretted consummating our marriage?”

Pei Jiuru remained silent.

Jiang Nian felt embarrassed. She didn’t want to admit she was weak, but she didn’t want him to misunderstand her either.

So she explained awkwardly, “I don’t regret being with you; it was my choice, so why would I? I just...”

“Just what?”

“I just feel I lack self-control, so I had some regret this morning. Sleeping apart is partly to let you focus on your exams, and partly because... because you’re exceptionally talented and impressive, and I honestly can’t quite keep up...”

Pei Jiuru was taken aback, clearly doubting her words.

She didn’t dislike him, but disliked him too much?

He was shocked.

Jiang Nian lowered her eyes to the water. “If you’re angry because of that, it’s really unnecessary. You’ve misunderstood me...”

Pei Jiuru controlled his turbulent feelings and turned to look at Jiang Nian, whose cheeks were flushed.

There was no love between them. Many women prized reputation, yet she had used marriage as a transaction, and then shared a marital bed with him...

When facing the Pei family elders, he had seen her panic and fear but also her courage for his sake. How could she do that merely to keep a promise?

Since today was a moment of honesty, he wanted to ask clearly as well.